Residue

Panic.
That I've done something to take someone I love away from me.
Anger.
At myself for not just going forward and forgetting her, for wanting to be with her still.
Panic.
For feeling controlled by her coming in as feels right for her, for discarding me and my feelings as feels right for her.
Indignation.
For doing something healthy and feeling like it made her go away for good.
Anger.
For feeling controlled by my desire for her.
Vulnerability.
For feeling controlled by my desire for her.
Confounded.
For not moving forward when something feels so precarious so consistently.
Looking.
Around the corner, for a little light, for a glimpse of what I look like looking at it.

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